That’s right, I have to apologize because I just found out that some of you may not have received the last two newsletters! I just got back from some travels and discovered there were some technical glitches that were there but not seen by me or my tech gal. #shouldabeenwatching! Man when something doesn’t go right it is really hard for me to accept it, stop beating myself up, and move on. Do you ever feel like that? I know for me it’s because I have quite a bit of perfectionism in me and it sometimes puts a notch in my self-confidence stick when I think I’ve “screwed up”. This perfectionism held me back for years before I discovered it.
The silver lining in all of this is I will be talking about this very subject next week in an interview with Patricia Drain, and you’re invited. I spoke about perfectionism at a conference in Phoenix, AZ last week, so if you didn’t make it there be sure to call in and hear how perfectionism may be holding you back from some of those opportunities that come into your life. Just call in on Thursday, Nov. 17th at 4pm MST. Call (425) 440-5100 and put in the access code 941911#. But for sure I’ll send you a reminder.
So right now you may be saying “but I’m not a perfectionist”. Well, my first question then would be “do you procrastinate?” Procrastination can mask perfectionism AND the lack of self-confidence. If you lack self-confidence and give in to your underlying fears you’ll hesitate on taking action, and miss out on opportunities and people coming into your life.
Most perfectionists don’t even realize they are one. They cling to the belief that their obsessive pursuit of perfection is really just the definition of doing a “good job”. I did! And doing a “good job” meant I wasn’t letting people down. Letting people down used to be one of my huge fears that held me back from sharing any program I created…because I felt it needed to be “perfect”.
So let me share three ways perfectionism may be getting in your way or holding you back, and a few tips to overcome:
Procrastinating: Procrastination is so closely linked to perfectionism. Procrastination can mask your perfectionism and your underlying fears. Think about it: What is making you delay your idea or your goals? By first identifying what is causing you to procrastinate, you can then start to overcome that fear, limiting belief, or lack of self-confidence. If you will be honest with yourself and pay attention, you’ll know when you are procrastinating. Now the job is to take a moment, right then, and think about WHY. What thought or thoughts came into your head right at the moment you procrastinated?
Never starting: Perfectionists want to be sure that the answer, the program, or whatever we are working on is flawless before we share it with others. We think unless there is a certainty, it’s safer not to act…always thinking we can make it better. But answering questions like, “what can I do this day/week/month?” can help create forward movement, and taking that action then becomes less scary.
Fear of Failure: Perfectionists often focus more on what they don’t want (“if I screw this up I’ll look stupid”) rather than what they do want (“I want to help my prospects and clients enjoy a better life with what I can teach/help them with”) Refuse to see a failure as anything but a learning experience that propels you into your success. A failure is definitely not something you ARE, it is something you LEARN FROM. (Next week on the interview I’ll be sharing one of the biggest failures I’ve experienced and why I was able to use it to change the way I felt about myself) Start looking at a failure as a stepping stone, not a roadblock.
So what do you think? Can you see any perfectionism in yourself? Or maybe just a pocket or two of perfectionism…even small pockets of perfectionism can slow you down. I believe everyone has some perfectionism in them that can be holding you back from stepping into their greatness. Tell me in the comments below what you think and what limiting beliefs you may have.
I hope to see you on the call next week!